Monday, December 29, 2008

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

My friend Laura over at has Gratituesday every week. This is the first time I am joining in!

Yesterday I took Garrison to the doctor and discovered he had a double ear infection. This is why I am extremely grateful for modern medicine! Garrison has been so unhappy and I just blamed it on the acid reflux. I try to imagine living 200 years ago when there was no pain medication or antibiotics. I think having to watch your baby suffer through ear infections without treating them would be horrible. Not to mention that many children probably lost their hearing if they suffered from chronic ear infections.

Now, I do believe there is something to be said for wholistic medicine and finding ways for natural healing, but if there is pain medication that can help a suffering child, I think it should be used.

And of course Garrison would not be alive if it wasn't for modern medicine. See pic here:

And yes, God is the Great Physician, but I am grateful that he gives people the ability to use their minds and hands to heal others.

And as for Garrison, I think he is pretty grateful too :)

Friday, December 05, 2008

Just decorating for Christmas...

Thursday, December 04, 2008

I lost my grandpa on November 28th, 2008. You may remember me mentioning him here on the July 10th post:

Here are the words that I read at his funeral(I'm not sure anyone understood what I was saying, since I sobbed through the whole thing.)


Thank you for the countless memories forever etched into my heart and mind.
Memories that are precious to me and to everyone here.

You were a grandpa who loved to play with us. You spent hours on the floor playing Pente with me. You would take us to DeSoto to play shuffleboard and mini golf. And who could forget the rides in the golf cart, crystal mining, the rock shop, and fishing. The list could go on and on.

I love the little snapshots of you that are so vivid in my mind now.

Like the image of you hurriedly walking around the house in Hot Spring Village, whispering under your breath, looking for your next project.

Or the image of you quietly reading the paper and drinking your morning coffee.

Or the image of you driving on the shoulder on the way home from church on a Wednesday night, while in fear my mom and I held hands in the back seat.

Or the image of you shuffling everyone together so you could take a picture.
Thank you for all of the pictures that you took...and for the slideshows!
When I was a kid, I LOVED the slideshows. I am so thankful for the slideshow that we had with you a few years ago.

But most of all grandpa, you were a kind and gentle spirit. The type of person God calls us to be in Colossians 3:12 where it says,

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

My grandpa's funeral was beautiful. The hardest part for me was when they closed the casket door. They slowly lower the door, and you know that you will never see your grandpa in the flesh again.

I've only been to a handful of funerals in my 31 years. The one thing I can say about all of them is that no one had to lie or pretend about the character of the person we were remembering.

I've never heard anyone declare this at a funeral..."Well, he was a bitter, mean, hateful old thing." Ok, that was extreme, but you get the idea. The usual comments involve love, kindness and the generousity of the person. It really made me think about my own I want people to be able to speak truthfully about the kind of person I was, or will they have to pretend?

Live everyday like it's your, I say make every day count, because one day it will be your past.

Here are some precious pictures of my grandpa and Fischer at their joint 1st and 84th birthday parties.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Today I talked to a mom who gave birth to a baby with spina bifida. She is strong and relaxed, witnessing her baby have major surgery in her first 24 hours of life. She's patiently waiting to hold her sweet baby girl in her arms.

Today I talked to a mom who has never taken her child home from the hospital. She religiously visits him, just holding onto the hope that one day he will come home. She looked at my sleeping baby...noticed his outfit. Her son had an outfit just like it....but never got to wear it. Her son has never felt the crisp autumn air.

Today I talked to a mom who tragically lost her son at the tender age of 13. His shoes still by the door, where he left them. She's a sweet spirit, just trying to cope with what has to be the greatest loss of all...a child.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today I have witnessed love...the unconditional, neverending love of a parent. I thank you for these three sweet mothers. I am thankful for my children Lord, and I vow to make each day count.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Somy of you may know that my dream is to be a professional photographer. I have never had formal training, so I just practice on my kiddos. I learn something new everytime I shoot pictures of the fact that the flash was on and I didn't even realize it, thus making bright faced children in the low light. We were extremely rushed due to the fact that the temperature dropped from 55 to 41 very quickly! My next goal is to get a digital SLR camera...the film has just become way too expensive. Plus, if I had a digital I would have realized that my the kiddos faces were bright. If you want me to practice on your kids, let me know!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Friday, November 07, 2008

Isnt' He Yummy??

Sunday, November 02, 2008

How could I forget this Halloween picture?

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Fall Fun

Garrison is already 5 weeks old! Hard to believe that time has passed this quickly and it is November! He had a 1 month appointment where we discovered he had acid reflux! No wonder the little guy would cry and whine when I layed him down after he ate. I guess I should have figured it out...maybe it was the lack of sleep. Dr prescribed Zantac and we have a different baby on our hands! He now sleeps MUCH better at night...sometimes of course :)

I made Halloween dinner last night. Fischer helped me make the spooky deviled egg eyes..and insisted that we put m & m candies on them..yum!

The weather was absolutely beautiful today so we decided to take a trip to the apple orchard!

And no, we would NEVER try the apples before buying them and throw the evidence on the dare you think that!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Just a few recent pics:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Garrison is doing great and LOVES to sleep really well during the day! He does pretty well at night too, but definitely uses the day to deep sleep! I am amazed that he can smile at 3.5 weeks old. I know they always say they are just gas, but I have video to prove they are not! These are real smiles! Fischer did not smile until he was 8 weeks old, so this has been a real treat! Enjoy...minus my annoying baby talk :)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

This video is definitely being sent to America's Funniest Home Videos! The funny part is at the end he says, "I wanna see!" What a ham!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Here are my look a like babies! Garrison is on the bottom and Fischer is on the top. We had Garrison's picture taken today in the same outfit that Fischer wore. Fischer was one month in the picture, Garrison is 2 weeks. They look so much alike, however Garrison's hair is really red! Fischer's hair was red too, but not like Garrison.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Tired Papa?

What a wonderful blessing to be at HOME...Garrison is thoroughly enjoying the comforts of home. You can tell that he knows there is a one is poking him, prodding him...he just gets to sleep, eat and poop! He is sleeping really well at night, last night he only woke up one time. Of course I know this can change, so I am counting my blessings for now!

Fischer is adjusting to a new little one in our home too. He loves to hold his new baby and wants to help whenever he can. Tonight he is enjoying his new Superman pajamas...running around the house saving one stuffed animal at a time. Apparently one of those stuffed animals landed in daddy's lap...I think he is so tired he forgot it was and Tigger...what could be better?

Thank you everyone for your prayers for Garrison! He had a doctors appointment yesterday and had gained 4.5 oz!! The doctor concluded that he had Hyaline Membrane Disease(also called Infant Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and Pulmonary Hypertension. He also had a collapsed lung, which was the result of his labored breathing. Dr. Kerr said that premature babies would not have been able to collapse their lung as easily, but since Garrison was so big and strong he worked too hard to breathe. Dr. Severson(his pediatrician) said that it is rare for a baby at 39 weeks to have IRDS. He has only seen one other case where a full term baby had this disease.

John F Kennedy had a son, Patrick, that died of this disease two days after birth in 1963. This sparked an interest in research and treatment of the disease. If the Kennedy baby had been born today, most likely he would have survived.

We are thankful to our God for healing our baby boy, thankful for the doctors and nurses, and thankful for all of you and your continous prayers.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


The infamous burp pose: Garrison

Sorry for the lack of updates, living in the NICU has offered me little chance to come home and check my email.

div>Garrison is doing GREAT! He has been off of his oxygen since mid-morning. He has to be off for 24 hours before they will let him go home. He is eating well and likes to be up all night :) He sleeps REALLY well during the day though!!

He had his first bath today and I know it felt so good to him. He slept for hours afterwards! He has a lot of red hair!

Last night Garrison and I were moved to a "skywalk room." It is a room for babies that are stable and will be going home shortly! What a blessing that has been. They are brand new rooms and have a bed and bathroom. One of the respiratory therapists said, "You are moving over to the the Hamptons!" She was right! Just to have a little quiet at night has been nice, plus sleeping in a recliner is not fun! The other blessing is that Fischer can be in our new room. He finally got to hold his little brother today! His eyes lit up SO big and it was a very special moment!

Dr. Kerr said we may be going home tomorrow night or Thursday morning if he continues to do well w/out oxygen. Pray that he just chugs along tonight and doesn't have to go back on O2!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Don't have time to write much: just a tid bit of good news!

The doctor came in this morning and said Garrison will probably be going home within a few days! He was able to nurse tonight for a few minutes and so I will be going to "live" at the NICU for the next couple of days. I will have 2-3 hour windows where I can come home, shower, or get out and see Fischer. Pray for Garrison's recovery and my strength!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

More baby foot fetish: Definitely Franklin's toes!!

It was really hard to leave the hospital tonight. I am so exhausted though, I knew that I needed to just come home and rest. Franklin went back up and usually does the late evening shift. Garrison's 2:30 x-ray and blood gases were normal. They haven't been able to ween him off of 35% oxygen today. He needs time to heal his lungs...time that seems to be ticking by SO SLOWLY.

I wish I could describe to you the NICU. It's a whole different world: dark, sadly quiet...but noisy at the same time...with alarms going off continously. I know it is a place of healing, but emotionally it is exhausting. As much as I wish that I could just pick him up and march right out of there, I know that he is receiving the best care he possibly could.

Franklin may have more news on his blog later tonight:

Thanks again for the prayers!!!!
I know, I have a foot fetish.

Garrison is doing well today. His chest tube was taken out about 11am. He had an x-ray at 2:30 to see if all was well with his lungs...on my way to the hospital here in a minute so we will find out the results. I got to hold him today for a long time. He was SO content. I loved every minute of it. Will post more later after visit this afternoon.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Garrison was determined to get off of the vent today. He pulled it out on his own at 4am. He has been on approximately 30% O2 all day. They did turn his high flow from 2 to 1. I don't really know what all of this jargon means, but the nurses reassure me that he is SLOWLY getting better. I imagine it will be next week sometime before he can come home. Leaving him at the hospital was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It feels so lonely to leave the hospital without the one you intended to bring home. Of course I could stay up there 24 hours a day, but I feel like I need to be home. Fischer needs me here...even if it is a false sense of normalcy...he needs it. I will go back up tomorrow morning.

I was able to hold him today...which was good...but a little stressful...with all of his wires. He gets agitated when you move him around a lot...and I don't blame him.

Thank you again for your prayers and love.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

It's been a long day...I am tired and emotional. Fischer is doing pretty well considering the situation. It breaks my heart that for 9 months we have been telling him he could hold his little brother, and he hasn't even seen him but for a few minutes. He either has really bad allergies or a cold and he isn't even allowed in the NICU waiting room. He sometimes asks, "Where's my baby?" My mom shows him pictures and we reassure him that he will get to hold him soon. Today he went putt putting with Franklin so I know he had a good time.

Garrison continues to be stable. The doctor said this morning that he would possibly be weened off of the vent today or tomorrow. I don't think it will happen today, but I want them to take it slow and be cautious. They weened him off of his sedation but continue to give him morphine for pain. He was given some of my milk through a tube in his nose. This of course made me extremely happy...knowing that he at least won't be hungry. They will give him this every 2-3 hours. Thank you for your prayers.

Franklin and I are sitting in the hospital room waiting for our dinner...the room's walls are closing in on me. I imagine I will live in the NICU for the next week or so after I am discharged tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who has visited and sent flowers. We love all of you and can't wait to share Garrison with you!!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, calls, and concerns. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

Garrison is doing well right now. He is stable and resting peacefully in his little isolate. His white blood count is down to 15, which is within the normal range! Yesterday it was 35, so this is great news. His blood gases are also great and have been for most of the day. The nurse said that tomorrow I may be able to hold him. This has to be the hardest part of this experience. I long to hold him, feed him and be his mommy. It is really hard to watch all of the other moms walking around the hospital with their babies in their arms. I was sure that this time would be different...that Garrison would be in my room with me. It would be so easy to take that for's easy to even take my situation for granted. There are SO many babies in the NICU that are sick and some that have to be there for weeks and months. The little guy next to Garrison has been there for 8 months. When I try to wrap my brain around that, it is nearly impossible.

Thank you again for all of your prayers. God is good and we are thankful that Garrison is slowly getting better.